A bit freaked out right now

[Rejoice]

2 days ago I was diagnosed with Stage 3 kidney disease. My blood pressure has been getting higher and higher despite a no salt diet, losing weight, taking all my meds. My calcium and vitamin D levels have been extremely low for 2 years despite massive doses of both. My parathyroid hormone level is 200 and won't go down. I have had joint pain for several months, and muscle cramps. I thought this was all just due to a mal-absorption problem. Now the doctor tells me that my kidneys aren't working.
I'm a bit overwhelmed and not sure what is going to happen. Gosh, I sound like a whiny baby!

[DebSteve]

It's ok to whine I think if I had whined more instead of carry it in my head I would be in a better place emotionally. I've been dealing with Stage 4 kidney disease since 2002 and I get soooo tired of dealing sometimes. My nephrologists keep talking about dialysis and have been for a long time, but I kept pushing it to the side like it wasn't me they were talking about. I don't want to believe it's my reality, but I'm just coming to the realization that my kidneys aren't what they use to be and it makes me so sad. I'm like a little kid having a temper tantrum, "I don't wanna"! I'm afraid! I never thought I would actually think those words. I'm usually telling our youngest daughter, who deals with sickle cell disease that she has to participate in her own rescue and here I am subconsciously not doing it. And I too have joint pain, especially in my knees which I thought was arthritis, DUH. All I can do right now is shake my head. I know I need to start getting it together so I can be a healthier me for me and my family and I definitely know I can't do it alone!!!
For me, feeling overwhelmed is an understatement. There seems to be so much to do. God Bless u Rejoice!

[Rejoice]

Thank you so much for writing, DebSteve. I feel better just knowing that I'm not the only one who is overwhelmed. I feel like I need to get to work, to make this go away NOW! I don't want it! I just don't know what to do or even if I CAN make it go away. God's Blessings on you, too, DebSteve.

[nicolaidis]

I m also still in shock that I have kidney failure. I got it when I had surgery last May--I just found out I had a blood infection. For me the best way to overcome depression is keeping busy. I walk my dog 3 or 4 times every day. I have a partttime job and go to work 2:00 pm to 5:00 pm every day. I m lucky that my husband grocery shops and cooks. I read a couple books a week. Try to stay positive.My Dr didn t tell me I had ckf untill I was stage 4. I m trying so hard to avoid dialysis. I feel like everything I eat is bad so I don t eat much. other than monthly blood work how can I know how I m doing? .

[vrbarker]

I understand all of your fears. Like all of you I was caught off guard when my BP went off the charts. After a kidney biopsy and 2 weeks in the hospital I was told I needed to go on dialysis. Yes it was scary and I did shed a few tears, but now I have been on dialysis for 2 weeks and it is really not a big deal. A postive and optimistic attitude will do wonders for you.
God Bless and good luck to all of us.