Anxiety/Pannic attacks??

[LLSchares]

My husband has Wegeners Granularmutosis and has been on immune suppressant drugs and may other prescriptions for 20 years. Last October we were told his kidneys were failing and he would need a transplant. We are working with the VA to get on the list and things are moving along - he is not on the list yet. He has 2 sisters who are willing to give a kidney but they have to wait to be tested until he is on the transplant list. Mean time we have lots of Dr appointments and things to take care of, I work full time out of the home and my husband is medically retired from the Navy. A couple months ago he started having panic/anxiety attacks. The Dr has given him sleeping pills and anxiety meds since he has so much going on in his head that the lack of sleep is causing the problems.

My question is does anyone else's loved one have this problem? I am at my wits end not knowing what to do. I have to work and he knows that - he does not want anyone else to come and stay with him. He has developed mobility issues and now has a walker, is that something others are having problems with also? He is not on dialysis and the Drs claim he is not to the point of dialysis yet (they want him vomiting and diarreia before he needs it?).

What more do I do? It is my duty as his wife to take the best care possible but as I am only 39 and he is only 43 I need to work or need the government to pay me to stay home with him.

I'm hoping this is all temporary and will be resolved with dialysis or transplant but in the meantime can someone tell me if this is normal???

Thank you for your help.

[mamasusan]

I am in a different situation from you, but there are similarities. I am caring for my 88 year old mother who just started dialysis about 2 weeks ago. I certainly don't know much about dialysis, but my mom's doctor kept telling her that she was heading for dialysis, but "didn't need it yet, even though her 'numbers' were terrible." She had congestive heart failure in November and respiratory failure in April. We rushed her to the hospital and they started dialysis shortly after. The improvement in her after dialysis was remarkable. In hindsight, I'm angry that he waited so long to start her and therefore jeopardized her life. Consider seeing another doctor to see if the dialysis is necessary now. My mother also has panic attacks frequently and takes ambien and xanax to help her sleep. There was one night that she called me at 2:30 am to come and sleep with her (she's temporarily living in my house). We ended up fighting cause I was exhausted and she only wanted me to care for her. I am taking her to see a therapist starting next week, and I think that's so critical. I am also seeing someone cause I am often so angry with her. The panic attacks are a huge problem, and frustrating to me cause I feel like they're "not real". I mean, I know they're very real to the person having them, but it gets me crazy cause they add a whole other layer of problem to deal with while you're already dealing with all the physical stuff. You really have your hands full and you're both so young! Try to focus on the positive - my mom's anxiety has gotten a teeny bit better now that she's actually having the dialysis and starting to get used to it. Before the first few sessions she was beside herself. I hope you can hang in there and get some counseling for your husband and yourself. Good luck!

[Stratoms]

Oh my dear, it reminds me of the similar situation I once was. As a wife, mother and caregiver we want to do the best, but if we have to work, like i once did, you do what you have to and not feel guilty. You are one person and desperately trying to balance it and you will. One advice I can give you, in this stressful process find time for yourself no,matter what, because at the end of all this, you do not need to get into a deprrssion. No matter what you do, you will not be appreciated.
I've been in a similar situation, husband lost his kidneys when he was in his late 40, 2 years in dialysis ' Then a transpalant and now back in dialysis at the age of 50. It's a lot not only for the individual who's going trough it but for your entire family. I highly recommend you seek help from a social worker to direct you tools to deal with all this, and resources that will give you the freedom of not feeling guilty, surpressed from your partner not wanting help. It's a hard to endure all this ups and downs, stay strong and get yourself in a support group to allow yourself to express yourself. I wish you all the best and I will always be here to support you. Best of luck my dear' you will end up surviving this period of your life, be strong.