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Frustrated, when to give up.

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  • Frustrated, when to give up.

    My 81 year old mother had been on PD for the last 2 yrs and just recently had to change to in clinic HD. A little over a month ago she went to the hospital very sick. After several days they found out that she had a perferated colon and had developed paratinitis and did emergency surgery to remove her PD catheter. The next day they put in a HD catheter. After 3 weeks in icu and 1 week in a regular room she was moved to rehab to help build up her strength and get her back to were she was before she went into the hospital. She lives with my brother and sister-n-law in another state. I was there for two weeks to help out. Here is were I am frustrated. I have found out that she didn't want to do the rehab and wanted to go home. She was released this past Tuesday after only 1 week of rehab. My brother questioned this with the doctors and social worker because he has power of attorney but they said that they have to go by what my mother wants. She was in no way ready to go home. My brothers house is two stories and she has to go up 16 steps to get to her room. She is so weak that now that she is home she is stuck in her room and being waited on for everything and is refusing to do anything to get better. When ever we bring up anything about getting up to get some exercise she gets mad at us. Should we just give up and let her just sit in her room? Could really use some advise.

  • #2
    Man that is a tough question. I am a nurse but I do not believe in doing what ever it takes to keep the pt alive. I believe in letting the pt decide for her/his self (if they are able) but at the same time is she tired of fighting it and doesn't feel like it is worth it or does she have other health issues keeping her from doing things or is she just pissed at everyone because she is not getting what she wants? Only you and your family know her the best so try to figure out how she really feels. She may be tired too because she doesn't want to be a burden to her children any more. That is the way I feel I do not want to be a burden to my boys as I age. I am 55 and I will soon be on dialysis and then I always will be once I start. So by the time I am 83 I may be just to tired to carry on. There are many things to think about and how your mom feels should play a part in the decision. Good Luck and I hope you find answers all can handle.